Gaining Self Confident

Due to my mental health issues, I suffered from a lack of confidence in myself. It got so bad, I refused to wear shorts/mini skirts/dresses in the summer or even leave the house.

You see, I was bullied in school from a young age from friends and also by family members. I was also told, I was useless or they would comments on my appearance. I started believing these hurtful comments. A few years later, I was bullied in the workplace. I was working as a chef. I was constantly told by the head chef and sous chef, that I was rubbish at my job. This comments stopped me from working in my dream job, being a chef in a top restaurant. I was and still am terrified of going into a professional kitchen.

Gaining my confident back

I worked hard in gaining my confidence back. It was a long road. There were times where I wanted to fail. I just imagine what my life would look like, after, gaining my confidence back. To get to where I wanted to be, I set myself some targets to reach. There were two main goals;

First Main Goal

I enrolled on to an university course in my local college. I needed to believe in myself again and realise that I am good at something. However, there were many times where I wanted to quit throughout my time. If it was for my lecturers and friends, I think I would have quit. They encouraged me to complete my assignments and see why I made this decision.

This is the best day of my life. My Graduation day (2017)

Second Main Goal

I wanted to lose some of my weight, I decided to join the gym. At first, I would have panic attacks from having negative thoughts in my head. I had to push those thoughts, over time it got easier and I started making friends. Also, I gained some confidence after challenging myself in the gym. For example, I would walk longer on the treadmill.

These two goals helped me gain some of my confidence back. I started feeling better in myself. I was no longer the shy, unconfident person I once was.

However, I challenged myself this year to become more confident.

New Hairdo

I had the same hair style for as long as I can remember. My hair was long. I had tried to change my hairstyle but never like the look or style. Throughout 2018, I wanted to change my hair but I would always come up with an excuse to not change it. However, in November 2018, I decided that it was time to change my hair. I decided to walk into a hairdressers and got it cut. I remember the day. I was asked what I wanted doing. I stated I wanted to cut it all off into a short blunt bob. After an hour, of restyling my hair, I walked out more confident as I was not hiding behind my hair.

Give yourself a compliment

This is one of my favourite tip. It helps with your self-confident. Whenever, I feel less confident in myself, I will give myself a compliment. For example, “you look good today”, “you are having a good hair day”, etc. If you are having a day where you want to crawl back into bed, trying giving yourself a compliment.


Everyone look good with a smile on their face. When you smile, everyone will smile back at you. This will make you feel more confident in yourself.


This is another one of my favourites. I always feel better after any kind of exercise such as a light workout like walking. Its the endorphins that are released in the body, this makes you have a self-worth and also, making you feel strong and powerful within yourself. Feeling down, going for a walk or run and see how you feel

Gaining confidence does not happen over night, it takes time. Be Patience. Set yourself small goal to achieve. It has taken me over 5 years to gain my confidence back.

I challenge you to do one thing, for example, change your hairstyle, give yourself a compliment, etc. and see if you feel more confident in yourself. Comment below on your progress in gaining confident.

Stay happy fit.


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