This post is my personal story with my mental health issue.
At the age of 19, I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety. I can remember the day, I was diagnosed. The day before, I was in work. At the time, I worked as a chef. I was pulled aside, I told that I was annoying the other chefs, due, to my behavior. Then, they give me two options, which were to either leave or be sacked from my job. I choose to leave my job. Later, in the conversation, my boss told me that I could have depression. The next day, I went to the doctors to discuss the situation.
I knew something was wrong for a long time. I just thought it was normal, I just being a teenager. However, when I discovered what the symptoms were, it explained a lot. Some of my symptoms were being moody, lacking motivation, self harming, among others.
Thinking back, there were many issues that could have lead to my situation. My dad was in the military, which meant either he was away a lot or my family would move around. Then, there was the bullying that I experienced from friends, work colleagues and family members. The one thing that cause me to spiral deeper was the death of a school friend and then my Nan within a month.
The few years before being diagnosed, the symptoms were worse than ever. I remember always crying over nothing. Also, I would have panic if I left the house. All I wanted to do was to stay in bed, as this was my safe place. I did not like eat in front of people. I did not like being in crowded places.
There was one thing that made the feelings go away, which was food. I could not stop eating. If I had a tough day at school, I would go home and eating. Then the feels would get worse and I would eating again. Due to this, I gained some much weight within a small period of time.
There is one memory that sticks in my head. I was in primary school and it was break time. I was running and a boy in my class shouted, “Charlotte, are you running after a cream cake”. He and his friends laughed at the hurtful comment. Because of this comment, I would hear more bad thoughts in my head and they would come at any point in time.
I am so glad that I got help when I was at my darkest place. I hated feeling like that, all I remember, is the numb feeling. Due to the dark place, I tried to kill myself. Again lucky, that I got help when I needed it.